I need to ask you to support an urgent secret business relationship with a transfer of funds of great magnitude.
I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America. My country has had crisis that has caused the need for large transfer of funds of 800 billion dollars US. If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be most profitable to you.
I am working with Mr. Phil Gram, lobbyist for UBS, who will be my replacement as Ministry of the Treasury in January. As a Senator, you may know him as the leader of the American banking deregulation movement in the 1990s. This transactin is 100% safe.
This is a matter of great urgency. We need a blank check. We need the funds as quickly as possible. We cannot directly transfer these funds in the names of our close friends because we are constantly under surveillance. My family lawyer advised me that I should look for a reliable and trustworthy person who will act as a next of kin so the funds can be transferred.
Please reply with all of your bank account, IRA and college fund account numbers and those of your children and grandchildren to wallstreetbailout@treasury.gov so that we may transfer your commission for this transaction. After I receive that information, I will respond with detailed information about safeguards that will be used to protect the funds.
Yours Faithfully Minister of Treasury Paulson
Live in a rural area? Enjoy your phone service and electricity? Thank a democrat for the Rural Telephone Act (Harry Truman) and the Rural Electrification Act (Franklin D. Roosevelt).
Are you a farmer? Thank a democrat for the Farm Loan Bank Act (Woodrow Wilson), the Federal Crop Loan Act (Franklin D. Roosevelt) and the Farm Loan Housing Act (Harry Truman).
Like to work less than 12 hours a day for a dollar an hour? Thank a democrat for the 8 Hour Workday and Overtime Act (Franklin D. Roosevelt) and the Minimum Wage Law (Franklin D. Roosevelt).
Ever been fired from a job? Thank a democrat for the Unemployment Compensation Law (Franklin D. Roosevelt).
Ever had to take off from work to care for a sick family member? Thank a democrat for the Family and Medical Leave Act (Bill Clinton).
Are you a woman? Thank a democrat for the Women's Suffrage Amendment (Woodrow Wilson).
Ever go to college with financial aid? Thank a democrat for the Student Loan Reform Act (Bill Clinton), the GI Bill of Rights (Franklin D. Roosevelt), the Student Loan Reform Act (Bill Clinton) and the Guaranteed Student Loan Program (Lyndon Johnson).
Planning on getting old? Thank a democrat for the Social Security Administration (Franklin D. Roosevelt), the Older Americans Act (Lyndon Johnson), Medicare (Lyndon Johnson) and Medicaid (Lyndon Johnson).
Like illegal and immoral wars, over priced oil, corruption, scandals, cronyism, ineffective policies? Hate science? Prefer to keep "those people" out of your neighborhood? Like seeing America's name dragged through the mud? Thank a republican for the last 7 1/2 years.
Relax, you say, the markets will take care of it.So, you believe Giant Global Corporation, Inc. would take care of you if you needed time to spend with a sick child? They wouldn't fire you and replace you with someone cheaper?
You think they would make sure your retirement is comfortable? *cough Enron cough*
You think AT&T would have put in phone lines to north central Kansas if they didn't have to? Screw 'em. Make 'em move to the city?
Do you think farmers would be able to plant crops you and yours eat if they had a bad harvest last year because of a drought or a hail storm?
What about your grandmother who scrimped and saved for decades and ends up spending all her life savings on a nursing home? Should she have to wait to go to the ER if she's sick? Serves her right for living so long?
How about your kids? Should they have to rely on your paying for college? Can you put them through four years without federal input?
What about people who are not as lucky to be as wise with their money as you? Maybe they didn't get born into oil money, should they be forced to stay in the lower class? Should we build walls around your house to keep them from stealing your stuff or worse? Maybe we can use them as an alternative fuel source, perhaps?
I hate that there's government waste. I hate that there are moochers off the government teat. I hate that we have decided to turn our backs on our citizens so we can line Halliburton and Blackwater and BP's pockets. But what I hate more are the people who have a smug attitude that anyone who needs a hand up, no matter what their circumstances may be, is a lesser quality person. $10 Billion a month can go along way to rebuilding our crumbling infrastructure. $10 Billion a month can go a long way to putting people to work on that infrastructure. $10 Billion dollars a month can go a long way to helping sick kids get well so they can contribute to our greater good. $10 Billion a month can go a long way to educating our kids and getting us back on top of the planet as the smartest, best prepared people here.
We have wasted the last 7 1/2 years ignoring problems here at home, while we invade and rebuild somewhere else. It's not right.
This fear of Democrats tax and spending us into a paupers grave seems to be misdirected. Do the research yourself.
The Democrats way just works better.