I've been thinking about trust and what it means to trust other people.
It's not easy for me to trust someone. I think it stems from an incident in college. I was rooming with some guys whom I trusted and though I could depend on. At one point there were three of us sharing a dinky little two bedroom apartment and a fourth guy who basically lived there when he wasn't at his girlfriends. It was a tight fit, but we did what we had to to make the rent. We were all involved in the colleges theater department, so we saw a lot of each other. I was the only one of the four that had a regular 8-5 job. (I worked in the colleges print shop.) So it was work in the morning, a class on my lunch hour, work in the afternoon, a class or two in the evening, rehearsals at night, sleep, repeat.
I used to crash as soon as I could upon returning from rehearsals, but the other three usually stayed up late drinking. It wasn't a real problem for me. They respected my privacy and my schedule, and I cut them some slack on the noise.
One night when they thought I was asleep, they started talking about me. Not good stuff either. I stayed in bed listening to this group that I thought were my friends tearing me apart and laughing at me. It tore me up inside. I walked out of my room and told them that if they were going to talk about and mock someone who was in the next room, they want to make sure he was asleep.
They all moved out within the month. I didn't speak to any of them for quite some time. I even stopped all my participation in the theater.
I was naive and not very world wise when I went to college. I was raised catholic and was pretty sheltered. That night I changed.
Since then I've had few close friends (and had some of them turn on me too). I've always tried to learn from it and move on, better myself, all that B.S..
Today something happened that has shaken my trust in someone close to me. Not sure how I should handle it.
